A month...

A month. That's how long my heart will be in my throat. It's how long I'll live in limbo. It's how long I will wait for another blood test to be done on my "baby". I wasn't sure it bothered me until last night when I googled what a "low white blood cell count" meant. The results of inquiry were heart stopping. I should have waited until the 2nd blood test results came back. Now, I know what it could mean and I don't like it. It's freaking me out. We've prayed for him, we've got some serious prayer warriors on his side. That lightens my heart a little but, I put it in God's hand. The waiting is the absolute worst. Part of me hopes for something that will give us answers for the "why's". The other part of my wants my precious "baby" to be fine. It's been a long 8 years of sickness with no answers. I just want to know why. There has to be a reason. Something is causing this, what is it? Is it serious? Is it easily treatable? What will the results mean? What will become of the results? Will it mean another 8 years of no answers? Will this be an ongoing fight? Will someone finally see that we need to get to the bottom of whatever the cause is? Will he ever be healthy? SOME ONE TELL ME!!!!! So, I live with my heart in my throat and hope and pray. It's all I can do. Hug your healthy kids. Be grateful that they are. Someone, some where, is worried sick about their child. I am a someone.